journal

a little place to write my thoughts and happenings....

july 12 2023

i'm becoming more goth :)

uh i did not reach out so far this summer to crush bc i forgot :P im not entirely sure what i'd say to them anyway ... im not fretting on it tho. i've actually been feeling major depresso lately (what the fuck kind of thing to say is that oh my god am i in 2016) and im thinking about asking for a higher med dosage. but my ongoing gothification and my dear dear 150pg creepypasta document have been great sources of comfort to me. i feel like i'm pushing people away though.

the project has been moving forward!! i'm still not done with like half the entries on it but i've been making progress...pretty steadily albeit slowly. you can't rush art though. i can't wait for it to be in its final stages and for you all to see it. the section on nina the killer so far is 16 pages of madness and one of my mutuals responded to that information by saying it was sexy and not at all autistic coded of me (/s)

i'm going to try to remember the reasons why life is worth living and get into some activity to help balance myself out a little...go on walks not rely on food as much etc. hang out with...friends?????? READ i should read more. i'll let yall know how that goes.

may 15 2023

i finished the painting!!! hes a little darling and prints of it are available on my inprnt. five by six feet. FIVE X SIX

the semester is almost over. WOAAAHHHHHGHH!!!! im so excited for everything that;s to come. i don't even know all of what might happen! i just have the vague truths such as "JOB" and "FAMILY" and "MORE ART" floating in front of my brain like. chicken in a soup. i'm really excited to see my family and my friends and my home again. and on top of it i have a little crush 🤭 on someone in one of my classes... no we do not live remotely in the same area. will that stop me from hitting the dm's while i'm home?? NO!!!! so yeah uh going to try putting on some of that skittish rodent rizz and hope they think i'm cool. we've slowly started talking more to each other in class so ik that they at least think i'm alright enough to engage in da small talk with ! yeah :)

everybody wish me luck.... stakes are high

PS: found a new book that i might wanna read over the summer :) just in case i don't get into the literature class i want and still want to learn abt the subject it's on. making the big boy moves yes i am

may 3 2023

got 2 free drinks today by combination of boba being served in the dining hall and having been forcefully given a dunkin donuts gift card

urghhh i have to complete a 30 sq ft (THIRTY SQUARE. FEET) painting in the next week + 1/2. im going to make it a possum ofc but oh ym god im so scared. that's going to be very much. i'm planning it out very haphazardly in my head. black and blue page on its way!!!! i'm trying to get a feel for jack and sawyer's updated designs and i feel like there isn't enough detail going into them. my little freak brain is little freaking. can any character design wizards help me out. thx

apr 25 2023

just updated the citw and b@so pages with a buncha lore and process doodads :) im going to try crafting the bnb page next & thats gonna require me to make new reference images for the cast since all the other ones are soooooo outdated. might include my old square refs for all the catalyst cast on the main page tho, since i still like the way most of those look.

apr 15 2023

AAAAAA I GOT A JOB IM SO EXCITED i feel like the little boy that goes BEST DAY EVARRR when he gets mcdonalds and boba slushie. i rly hope it goes well. creepypasta video im still trucking thru on, i rly love reading through the stories and putting out my little opinions on them but sometimes the research part is rly hit or miss. figuring out how to summarize them properly is also difficult. i dont want the video to be too long!!!!

im aiming to get the script done in the next couple of months so i can interview everyone im going to collaborate with and get to filming. noivous ngl. oh well, this has been like my dream project for a couple years now. byebye

hi, it's me your friend, tbh. allow me to accompany you while you read thru these entries ^-^