Subj: after-work poem

finally back from sick leave and have a little juice left in me. subject might be a bit misleading this isnt my poem, but one i heard recently. author wrote it when he was 12 lol. but i still think its worth writing down.

People say I have my mother’s face
But only half my mother’s body
I lie down, half baked with no name
My shoes on my bed
I’m a ruddy duckling
Raised around white swans
Empty myself and place in the sink
Ready to be cleaned
Ready for the flood
Maybe the only way is to try again
Try all over again
Time for soccer practice.

To be frank the ending could use some work. but i think there’s something special here.

You're so embarrassing.

but don't you feel better?

Subj: CO-OP OP-ED: The Return of the Ring (BLOODMOON “Ring” Review)

I know you’ve all missed me. This post is a little spontaneous, but it’s a special occassion. I’ve successfully convinced my buddy Noah to listen to the entirety of Ring, and track by track give his review. This will be our official opinions of each song, with Me (Mudbloon) represented by the M and Noah, obviously, as the N. Here we go!

1 - Intro

N: Ok this is that experimental music. I thought you said this was emo?

M: I call this prog emo personally.

N: They gonna bust out the flute or something?

M: You can’t mock this, this is my culture.

N: Right. I gotta be open to white people culture.

2 - Aurora

N: This sounds the same as the last one.

M: No, not the exact same. You’re just saying that cause it’s kind of quiet.

N: No it’s nice, but they sound like the same song. It’s just like this long thing and then they got, like, the Latin chants. It’s like hymnals.

M: What’s your rating?

N: 6/10.

(I think he said that not to hurt my feelings.)

3 - My Mistakes

N: Ok this is more exciting. I liked that one.

M: What’d you like about it?

N: Um it sounds like an actual rock song. It sounds like heavy metal. It’s pretty hard.

4 - Stag Song

N: This reminds me of Led Zeppelin. Or like… Pink Floyd.

M: Really?

N: Yeah, its all guitar and like “Once upon a time, there was a man…” like music your parents listen to.

M: I *thought* you were going somewhere mean with that.

5 - Twilight of the Sole Self

(Noah asked to skip this one halfway through. He doesn’t have a review. I myself like this one, extremely broody, tense and makes me feel like I’m in a dark forest awaiting a blood-filled battle.)

6 - Izolda

N: Wait, are these guys polish?

M: Yeah. You know Polish?

N: My dad was Polish.

M: No shit?

N: Yeah, he was a polish Jew. Yeah yeah I know I don’t look it.

(I can promise i did not say a word.)

7 - Love in a Void Pt. 1

8 - Love in a Void Pt. 2

(We listened to these two back to back before reviewing.)

N: Does this guy hate women or something?

M: No, listen, it’s something else.

N: Something else like what? I’ll wait.

M: What did you think of the music?

N: I liked the part where they had the electric guitar and the orchestra instruments playing at the same time. Also when the guy was screaming.

M: That was actually the instruments. They do a think where they skate the bow on the strings- and make it sound all crazy and scary. And it sounds like screaming

N: Woah. Sick.

9 - Holding His Ghost

(Noah smiled the most during this one.)

N: I like that one. This one’s pretty cool.

M: I had a feeling.

N: Emo as shit.

M: So are you rating these on authenticity?

10 - Eternity

N: How does someone even make this many songs like this?

M: No, it’s crazy. It’s one hell of a project.

N: Do you think this guy ever threw up in the booth?

M: Oh. I guess he just drank a lot of water, probably.

N: 7/10.

11 - Ring (The Poison Promise)

N: I’ve never understood you more than i do now.

M: I’ll take that as a compliment.

12 - Epilogue

(I have omitted most of his semantics about the first and last title tracks since I deem it irrelevant to the actual music.)

N: I mean, I liked the parts that weren’t quiet.

M: Alright. So would you listen to this again?

N: NOW? Hell no. This took like an hour.

M: Fair.

N: I liked the end because it’s over.

And there you have it. A fresh ear’s take on Ring! I doubt he’ll want to do this again, but it was fun to see the contrast between our reactions as a certified BLOODMOON superfan and a total newbie.

Wow LOL fuck this guy. He came in with a closed mind and surprise, got nothing out of it. Made a joke out of every song and even refused to give it the full listen. Surprised he didn’t even pick up on the main message of the album. Guess you’ve learned your lesson there.
***
- Signed, The Real Rod

No we had fun. Guess it just comes off here like he hated it haha

Nooo I HATED the album EMO CRACKER BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!! BITE ME XPPPP

Subj: i miss my friend

i miss him.

Would it feel better if I talked to you like this?